Lost Loves and Love's Lost

I have been mulling over a conversation I had with a friend a few days ago, lately. We were discussing why, even after years, we still feel things for past loves. Why those wounds, though not prominent, are still present.

I chalked it down to the fluidity of love. That even when one relationship ends, those feelings may not end. I have always felt anger and bitterness towards my exes, even the ones I broke up with first. I feel like each one took a piece of me that I’ll never get back. And though quite some time has passed, I still find myself being angry and hateful. They knew a side of me that not many people know, a sensitive side I scarcely show to anyone. I felt feelings that were true and real then, but seem like a betrayal to myself now. And so I’ve always longed to get those back. Every word, every idea, every feeling. I want them because they were once exclusively mine, but are now shared memories to a love now lost. What once seemed so real and seemed so promising became a dead leaf on the ground being kicked around without any thought. The heart and soul you share with another person is now but a strange apparition in each person’s memory bank. That is why past loves hurt so much, no matter how many years go by. No matter how much you love even a current love, you feel pain and suffering. Because even though it’s over, it’s never over.